11 September 2016

If I Were Pope for a Day

If i were pope for a day, i would reinstate the inquisition, anathematize the new theologians, mandate that catechists use only catechisms approved by the due authority prior to 1940, "revise" the Novus Ordo so that it was just the '62 mass with a vernacular option, and demand that all seminary professors of philosophy and theology make a solemn profession of faith (which would be written up in the style of Sacrorum Antistitum, but with updated content focusing primarily on historicism, spiritualism, ecumenism, indifferentism, and the necessity of faith) or face immediate dismissal. 

If I were pope for two days, I would issue definitive clarifying notae on Vatican II's documents on religious liberty, the church, the modern world, and ecumenism. 

If I were pope for three days, I would issue an apostolic constitution clarifying the proper understanding of the word "pastoral" and setting this in relation to the true functions of the Petrine office, invoking Pastor Aeternus at length. Then I would declare Vincent Ferrer and Domingo Banez doctors of the Church. 

And if I survived that long without being assassinated, I would begin to purge the Vatican of pagan religious artifacts, selling them off or destroying them, and giving the money to the poor.