30 January 2015

Some Symptoms of Modernism


  1. You refer to yourself as a "thinking Catholic".
  2. You are proud of your dissent from traditional doctrine.
  3. You believe that God is a verb.
  4. You see the sacraments as communal celebrations of important life-moments.
  5. You believe that the purpose of Reconciliation is to bring about healing within community.
  6. You do not believe in an afterlife apart from the memory and impact left behind in the lives you touched.
  7. You think that the Church as community should compose a fifth Gospel, for the needs of today.
  8. You believe that mass isn't about what you receive, but about what you bring.
  9. You find devotion to Mary distasteful or even offensive.
  10. You believe that Jesus's mission was to call us to Justice.
  11. You believe that the value of Christianity is in its "meaningfulness", not its truth.
  12. You distinguish between the Jesuses of the different gospels, because each was constructed for the needs of a particular community.
  13. You emphasize that the ascension, the resurrection, and pentecost were all merely symbols of one single historical event, in which the disciples of Jesus, after his death, realized that his mission lived on in their hearts.
  14. You love Pope Paul VI, but despise Humanae Vitae.
  15. John XXIII is your favorite pope of all time.
  16. You insist that Gaudium et Spes made unity a co-equal and primary end of marriage together with procreation.
  17. Nostra Aetate is your favorite Vatican II document.
  18. You have never actually read Nostra Aetate.
  19. You have no real notion of the popes prior to Pius XII.
  20. You are convinced that Pius XII was an ultra-reactionary authoritarian.
  21. You use the term "theopraxis" to describe the right approach to Christianity.
  22. For you, Charity is a bad word, because Charity does not remove structures of oppression.
  23. You have great disdain for "Creedal Christianity".
  24. You do not believe in personal sin.
  25. You believe very strongly in "social sin".
  26. For you, God is the experience of transcendence lurking in the hearts of every human being, which is unlocked by the experience of community and transformation.
  27. You are a huge fan of Paul Ricoeur.
  28. You reject the Virgin Birth, because you don't find it "necessary" for your faith.
  29. You are convinced that Jesus had no more awareness of his own divinity than you or I do.
  30. For you, Jesus's divinity consisted in showing humanity that God exists as solidarity with the oppressed and resistance against unjust social structures.
  31. You insist frequently on a "contextual" approach to Scripture, based on "modern scholarship".
  32. You revere the works of Hans K√ľng.
  33. You were catechized using Richard McBrien.
  34. You believe that the enduring core of Jesus's message was to have compassion.
  35. You feel personally called to be a prophetic voice within the Church.
  36. You despise bishops as a rule, but in particular cases approve of them.
  37. You find the idea of placing Catholicism above other religions offensive.
  38. In your book, Ratzinger is an evil name.
  39. You believe that Vatican II "changed everything".
  40. The notion that people could still prefer the old mass is incomprehensible to you.
  41. You believe that the Church must grow with humanity, and keep up with the times.
  42. You regularly expect the Church to "change its teachings".
  43. You have a degree in theology from a Jesuit university.
  44. You believe that Confirmation exists so that young people can choose their religion for themselves, and as a marker of their adulthood as Catholics.
  45. Your favorite worship songs include "All are Welcome" and "Gather Us In".
  46. If you believe in an afterlife, you are convinced that everyone but Nazis ends up in heaven.
  47. You consider people who accept the Church's teaching on sexuality to be "extreme conservatives".
  48. You are awed by the mystical profundity of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
  49. You believe your fundamental option is with God.
  50. You believe that eating pizza with friends can be "Church" for you.
  51. You often tell others that Faith can never grow without Doubt.
  52. You insist that God does not want us to place our love in things beyond this world, but within it.
  53. You believe that the Fourth Gospel was constructed by the Johannine Community as an allegorical representation of its spiritual struggles.
  54. You believe that almost the entire Old Testament is factually false.
  55. You have told people that, if Jesus were to come back today, he would despise the Catholic Church.
  56. You loathe prelates who wear ornate liturgical vestments.
  57. You believe the Church should recognize the freedom of belief of its members, without trying to exclude anyone for their ideas.
  58. You place conscience above everything else in the moral life.
  59. You support womanpriests.
  60. You are Church.
  61. You believe that the most important thing about Good Friday is emphasizing that Catholics should not be anti-semitic.
  62. You insist on being a prophetic voice in the Church, by calling it to embrace mainstream secular norms.
  63. You have no use for the saints.